gym

If you were watching me at the gym today, you would have laughed.

I started on some glidey machine thing, looking out over the pool, reading Abba's Child for about 19 minutes. Then I thought I should do something else, so I did Dante's intense ab work out, and headed towards an elliptical. Climbing on, I decided facing the gym full of people was not my thing. I went for the erg and thought I could do a 2000 m piece. Two strokes was all I lasted-- Abba was calling me. I'm not really surprised that I crave the message of grace in this book. I read The Ragamuffin Gospel twice last year.
So, I returned to the glidey thing, now, the water polo team was starting practice. I finished the chapter of Abba's Child, with a clear sense that my Father had meant for me to read that today.

Brennan Manning asks the question my heart feels on page 63,

"Is my life a disappointment to You? Are You grieved by the shallowness of my soul?"

Yet, I am greeted with a beautiful truth, that he quotes from Gerald May,

"It's important to recognize these self-commentaries for the mind tricks they are. They have nothing to do with our real dignity. How we view ourselves at any given moment may have little to do with who we really are".

What if my ultimate sense of self-worth, my idea of who I really am, came purely from who God says I am?